That said, it’s not a bad story–you could rewrite it by filling it out. Xxx keep them cummmmming.READERReport 2005-09-27 12:38:00Archaic sums it up fairly well. Work on characterization, plot development and descriptive language. Better yet, devote more time to your next story. terrible grammar; terrible sentence structure and spelling. Best of luck!READERReport 2005-09-26 11:18:28Well, now we have the titmans perspective. That said, it’s not a bad story–you could rewrite it by filling it out. 6 comments«12»READERReport 2005-10-15 17:28:10Hey, hope you write more, you still have five days to cover. … It ruined the story totally. Where does she buy her tee-shirts, the childrens section? That said, it’s not a bad story–you could rewrite it by filling it out. Better yet, devote more time to your next story.
