You really need to proofread your work. 3 comments«1»chachachaReport 2013-10-20 11:52:50the narration of story switches from first to third person and from past to present tense. Xxx You should read through it, aloud if that helps, before publishing, to see how these shifts in narration detract from the story. Besides those things your story was pretty good!! 3 comments«1»chachachaReport 2013-10-20 11:52:50the narration of story switches from first to third person and from past to present tense. What is about your NINE INCH COCK?anonymous readerReport 2013-08-25 21:52:47The huge cock massive tit thing is so used up and old it’s just become annoying. What is about your NINE INCH COCK?anonymous readerReport 2013-08-25 21:52:47The huge cock massive tit thing is so used up and old it’s just become annoying.
