Poor writing style as well.anonymous readerReport 2011-12-18 23:32:36too long, did not readanonymous readerReport 2011-12-18 19:25:20You kinda need to work on your paragraphing ^_^ The story itself was great, but that big paragraph is quite off-putting, so work better on your paragraphs on your next story 😀 xsmeegin2Report 2011-12-18 11:04:12Nobody comments much, so I will. More to cum???«1» 4 comments«1»anonymous readerReport 2011-12-19 00:30:10Seems to be right out of a gay penthouse forum. Xxx Poor writing style as well.anonymous readerReport 2011-12-18 23:32:36too long, did not readanonymous readerReport 2011-12-18 19:25:20You kinda need to work on your paragraphing ^_^ The story itself was great, but that big paragraph is quite off-putting, so work better on your paragraphs on your next story 😀 xsmeegin2Report 2011-12-18 11:04:12Nobody comments much, so I will. Your writing style needs a little work to develope the story, and the spoken words can be placed in ” ” marks so they read better.
