Work on your grammar, sentence structure, and plot. There are many more errors, as well, but the worst offense is inconsideration of your reader who must struggle through your story. Xxx 4 comments«1»anonymous readerReport 2011-04-23 09:29:18Pretty poor writing with horrible grammar, spelling, and syntax, and a lack of sentence structure and any semblance of paragraphs, proper punctuation and dialog. This is a story worth telling, and there are lots of interesting parts to it. 4 comments«1»anonymous readerReport 2011-04-23 09:29:18Pretty poor writing with horrible grammar, spelling, and syntax, and a lack of sentence structure and any semblance of paragraphs, proper punctuation and dialog. They ALL need work.«1» Would like to hear further adventures. Or are you now over them? Do you wank off about those great days, greenhornet144? Just need more practice, I suppose.SwingerReport 2009-09-03 15:53:36Story horny but paragraphs needed.
