This is a story worth telling, and there are lots of interesting parts to it. xnx Work on your grammar, sentence structure, and plot. thank you.jakthemessiahReport 2009-08-18 21:41:42Dude… There are many more errors, as well, but the worst offense is inconsideration of your reader who must struggle through your story. thank you.jakthemessiahReport 2009-08-18 21:41:42Dude… You simply need to work on delivering what you relate in a more legible manner.Anonymous readerReport 2009-09-14 17:37:13You’re a very talented writer, and I understand that it must be damn hard to write about something like that. thank you.jakthemessiahReport 2009-08-18 21:41:42Dude… thank you.jakthemessiahReport 2009-08-18 21:41:42Dude… Would like to hear further adventures. You simply need to work on delivering what you relate in a more legible manner.Anonymous readerReport 2009-09-14 17:37:13You’re a very talented writer, and I understand that it must be damn hard to write about something like that.
