Also, a factual problem which is somewhat off putting and severely challenges the credibility of your story. xnx the formatting was good and the paragraph length was good. But most men need somewhere in between 5 and 20 minutes to fully recover after cum’ing. you just need to be more descriptive with the actual sex. I wish you luck in your future attempts at writing :)anonymous readerReport 2012-08-21 20:56:58no begining a rush to sex and no end equal a WASTE OF TIME do a total rewrite and use a good editor.chance52Report 2012-07-10 18:52:17much like everyone else said, you’re story does need some build up to it. It would be nice if you could give the story a kind of “natural flow”. in the end, it makes it a lot hotter for the reader. It would be nice if you could give the story a kind of “natural flow”.
