It felt like you were just listing everything that happened. Detail matters. Xxx But still like I said, a great story 10/10«1» But 1 thing is you said she was a virgin so no matter she would have felt pain when that guy rammed his dick in her pussy. A spell check run would have caught many errors. With not much detail. With not much detail. A spell check run would have caught many errors. A spell check run would have caught many errors. Def would have hurt you.Anonymous readerReport 2010-06-26 06:07:11Please proof your story. You should definitely make a part two. Def would have hurt you.Anonymous readerReport 2010-06-26 06:07:11Please proof your story. Also, think about continuity and having even a fantasy make sense.Anonymous readerReport 2010-06-25 21:42:31Pretty great story.
