maybe next time you can have him take her completely.BatrachianReport 2009-10-03 08:04:50What a clever atmospheric story. Keep writing!sexymamaReport 2009-10-02 16:47:16this needs a lot more work talk about the people a little so it will be more interesting and there is no need for his side her side writing its the same story all round but over all it was ok«1» It is so easy to provide banal facts; the fact that you left out all explanation added a real frisson. Xxnx maybe next time you can have him take her completely.BatrachianReport 2009-10-03 08:04:50What a clever atmospheric story. His side – her side was an essential element that made it rise above the usual stroke story. Keep writing!sexymamaReport 2009-10-02 16:47:16this needs a lot more work talk about the people a little so it will be more interesting and there is no need for his side her side writing its the same
