Poor grammar and punctuation, loads of sentence fragments and a completely unrealistic scenario. xnx Has great potential and i like the whole “kidnapping/ obsession” theme, can’t wait for the next chapter, please post it soon, thx :)palmer69Report 2012-11-24 16:45:36Great story, hope he brings some of those little league players that he coaches home as well.anonymous readerReport 2012-11-23 18:49:17I’m confused. He takes off his shorts and underwear at the water fountain, but then coach orders him to strip or he’ll do it himself. Coach is going to keep an 18-year old slave forever? Poor grammar and punctuation, loads of sentence fragments and a completely unrealistic scenario. Poor grammar and punctuation, loads of sentence fragments and a completely unrealistic scenario.
